Depression in a Swiss Cheese Hat and Bright Red Suit

Do you ever feel like Neo from The Matrix? You seem to be just getting through it and life can feel oppressive.

Perhaps you’ve had to deal with unresolved frustrations or bitter disappointments. It just doesn’t look like there’s an exit from this path of gloomy thoughts and feelings.

I had feelings like this, but instead of wearing a cool black leather jacket and aviation sunglasses, I was wearing a gauche pastel colored suit waiting to entertain early morning visitors to Toontown at Disneyland. (You can see the show here.)

I’d put on the show for the guests, but inside I was dealing with years of turmoil always seeking something to ease my pain of frustration. I kept a daily journal at this time, and I poured out my anger and bitterness on those pages. I needed a place to unload these difficult feelings because I was overloading my wife and sons during this period as well.

Journaling was my exit, my sanctuary. The mess of thoughts that was in my head was easier to navigate when I wrote it down. That journal allowed me to capture those thoughts and identify recurring patterns that led to my depression and anger. It was through this process of journaling that I was able to take the first steps that eventually led my to therapy, recovery and support.

When you review those dark thoughts that get captured on paper, God has a higher purpose for them. It’s not about shame. It’s not about feeling stuck in a repeating cycle.

Its a tool that can serve as catalyst for change in your life. When you see the same junk popping up, you can finally ask the question which leads to transformation:

“What am I going to do about this?”

If you find yourself in a similar season, know that you’re not alone. Consider journaling as an instrument to navigate your struggles and gain clarity.

Our One Month Buffalo Journal is an easy way to start with guided questions that help you take a look at identifying your purpose in your work. We’re also close to releasing our Year Long Discovery Journal that can help you in many aspects of your growth journey.

This doesn’t have to perfect. Start where you are.

You can start by scribbling a few words or reflecting on guided prompts. But the best thing you can do is to start today.

Follow us on Instagram (@idratherbeabuffalo) for updates on our journaling resources.

Remember, by capturing your thoughts, you're one step closer to embracing positive change in your life. Onward, upward, and God bless. - Kevin